Nyce Refinishing   28 W. Third St. Lansdale, Pa. 19446 215-361-3900

************************************************************

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah,I'm from the local telephone company, I've come here to activate your phone lines"

******************************************************************

Cohen & Levy are both in the antique business across the street from each other, and have been for years. Cohen hates Levy - he thinks he's a gonniff & a liar & an ignorant bastard, and says so publicly. Levy thinks the same about Cohen.

One day Levy leaves the door open to his shop and goes out for a few minutes. Cohen takes the opportunity to walk across the street and steal a magic lantern Levy has in the window. He gets it back to his shop and can't resist rubbing it. Naturally a genie pops out of the lantern.

"Cohen", says the genie, "because you have released me from a thousand years of confinement in the lantern, I will grant you one wish - anything you want - money, power, fame, anything. But because the lamp belongs to Levy, whatever it is you get, Levy will get twice as much."

"You mean," says Cohen, "if I ask for a million dollars, Levy gets two million?"

"That's right," says the genie, "and if you ask for a beautiful woman, Levy gets two beautiful women."

"All right, genie," says Cohen. "I know what I want."

"What's that?"

"I wish I were half dead."

Page 1   Page 2 Page 4

[ChairFixer] [The Fixer] [For Information] [Directions] [Contact Me] [FAQ] [How To Cane] [Magazine Article] [Pictures] [Links] [Furniture Jokes]